A Thought About My Grandma

My Grandma always pointed out the elephant in the room. She had a great sarcastic sense of humor, one that always drew me to her. Even as a child, when I didn't understand much of what she was saying, I always appreciated how direct and honest she was. She said what she was thinking and told people how it was. It may not have always been appropriate, but she did it anyways. I think in that way, I am very much like her.
One of my favorite memories of my grandmother was from right after my grandfather had passed away--She joked that since he was no longer with her, she no longer had a need to continue drinking. Mostly a joke, but maybe, partially true.
Tonight, at her viewing, on more than one occasion I pointed out how much I didn't like these kind of gatherings. I don't like how grieving families have to welcome and thank people coming to pay there respect, and that guest feel the obligation to stay for a period of time so as not to offend or hurt the feelings of the grieving family. I said it to guest, I said it to family. I don't know why I said it, I just did. I think I probably caught a few people off guard by saying what I did. And as always, I didn't really reflect on the words of my big mouth until afterwords. I started to think, what was I thinking saying that out loud. Many people think it, but few are careless enough to say. I started to feel guilty, how disrespectful this is to my wonderful Grandma who I love very much.
Then it occurred to me that more than being disrespectful to my grandmother, I was being my grandmother's grandson. I was saying exactly what she would have said. I was saying what I was thinking without any reservations. While some people may be offended or surprised by what I said, I like to imagine my grandma was looking down on me laughing.

I love you Grandma.