Stuck in a Thought

I anxiously walk up behind you
Fear overwhelms as I reach for your hand
You snatch it away as reflex--
Turning to see who it is
I say your name, it stutters off my tongue
There’s wonder in your eyes
And you don’t respond.

Not ready to share what I was thinking,
I look down at your hands
Wishing I could hold them in my own
I return to your eyes
Spending just an instant caught in your gaze
I search my innermost for new words
Doubting what I had planned to say
Wishing you could understand me.

It all begins to wander through my head
The nights I stayed up, unable to sleep
Stuck in the thought of the first smile
The times I had whispered your name
Praying that you felt the same
The instances I would try to write how I felt
Only to give up knowing there are no words

I am frozen,
All that I am and all that I want to be comes into question,
I’m mixed in a world of confusion.
Finally breaking a smile, you end the silence
And ask what it was I wanted
You’re too gentle to come off impatient
And I am reminded of what has drawn me to you
And why it is I am here to ask you
For one date
Just a chance to get to know you better
Because this crush has gone on way too long,
And I won’t be able to move on
If I don’t at least find out what you’d say.


10-15-07